Williams 12.1

This entry contains a gas rate notice, originally written in opaque language, with you and then we as the subject/agent.

The Illinois Commerce commission has authorized a restructuring of our rates. As a result your service charge will increase effective with service rendered on or after November 12, 1990. You have not had a rate increase from us, Peoples Gas, in six years. You cost us a lot of money, and the Public Utilites Act says we have to charge what it costs us to produce the gas, so we have to charge you closer to what it costs us to provide the service.

The Illinois Commerce commission has authorized a restructuring of our rates, and so we will increase your service charge effective with service rendered on or after November 12, 1990. We have not increased your service charges in six years. We have changed the rates, but we are complying with the Public Utilities Act, which says we have to charge what it costs us to produce the gas. We are changing the rates for every class of customer closer to the cost actually incurred to provide the service.

The first sends the message that in some ways it is the customer's fault that the rates are changing because it costs the gas company money to produce the gas. If it weren't for the customer consuming and demanding the gas, the gas company could just collect the rates without providing the service. But this isn't good writing because the only agency that the customer really has in this situation is passively receiving the services offered by the gas company. They can't be made actors, so this revision is not truthful and puts a burden on the customer that doesn't exist.

The second revision is much closer to the transparent, clear language that would normally be called good writing because it is easy to understand and use the information it contains. Also, it portrays clearly who is making the decisions and who is to blame for the rates changing. So, if the purpose of the document is to inform the customer of the rate change, the reasons behind it and as clearly as possible, this is good writing. But the purpose of the document is much more complicated than that; it needs to inform the customer of the rate change while dissuading the customer from asking any questions about the rate change or giving the impression that the rate changes happen willy-nilly or that they may happen again soon. The document needs to break the news with losing the customers trust and faith in the companies reliability. So the clear language isn't good writing in that sense. If the gas company gives too much information too easily, the customer my think that the decision to raise rates was made with the same brevity.