These statements have been changed from criticisms to organizational strategies.
a. In order to make this text accessible for all readers, you might want to avoid abstract concepts and confusing words such as XXX(3) and XXX(5), and make the sentences shorter. For example you could make the first sentence of XX paragraph into two sentences by putting a period after XXX.
b. A second-person voice would help the reader understand who should do what. For example, consider changing phrases such as, "The receptionist is called with details" on page three to "Call the receptionist and report the details.
c. First identify the important actors and actions in these sentences and rewrite them to emphasize these important parts.
d. As a reader, I am having difficulty understanding what to do with this information. Perhaps this information would make more sense in another section.
e. Consider moving the main objectives of the brochure to the beginning. That way the reader knows what to do with the information as they read it.
f. Spend more time elaborating why this project is important.
e.
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